- girl: babe come over
- boy: I can't I'm having a threesome with an older couple
- girl: my parents aren't home
- boy: I know
i may seem like an angry person on the surface but deep inside im actually angrier
Speaking of pine tar…
Too lonely to be this horny.
Drew Butera, great catch and throw guy.
tumblr user more like tumblr loser am i right haha…I’m so sad
The turtle cavalry is serious shit
"Onward, alligator steed!"
"I’m a crocodile."
"Silence, water horse!"
The one in the back looks like it’s wearing a turtle for a hat
When I get excited about something my friend has no interest in.
tell someone to look and they’ll ignore you. but tell someone not to look and they’ll turn their head faster than it takes a straight white boy to ask for nudes during 21 questions
- citizen: it's a bird!
- citizen: it's a plane!
- superman: it's a metaphor